Week 12 Recap

Prelude to allowing 54 points.

Week 12 in the NFL had it all! Eleven road teams won. Twelve scored 30 or more points. The Titans finally fell. The Lions lost again. And Donovan McNabb was benched. Whew! In the Gulfman League, playoff spots have been secured. Let’s peruse the scoreboard.

Savage Animal 103, Walker’s Talkers 95: Animal survives a 30 point effort from Randy Moss and sweeps the season series against the Talkers. Both teams are tied atop the New York Division. A combined 34 from backfield of Portis and Williams paces Savage. Only four points from Ronnie “Wildcat” Brown hurts Walker’s loose-lipped lineup.

Frank 79, Syracuse ManahManah 35: A all-around lackluster outing for the ‘Cuse. DMac5’s benching didn’t help nor did a scant 9 points from their runners. Frank stays alive thanks to Marshawn Lynch and the Bears D. Despite loss, the Manah remain in contention for a playoff birth.

Steelcats 92, Arkansas PrettyMouths 88: The Cats trailed by 31 going into Sunday night football. It was over, right? Not so fast my friends. LT, Anthony Gonzalez and Nate Kaeding roll up 35 to lift Steel City to victory. Willie Parker’s paltry three points vs the Bungals kills Arkansas.

The Grizz 78, Lame Excuses 72: The Grizz owe Matt Cassel for this W. He notched 36. No one else topped 9. The Lame ones squander T.O.’s 27 point outburst. Although not mathematically eliminated, the odds are against the Excuses playing in the post-season.

Furry Beasts 106, The Negotiators 98: The Deal-makers awoke Monday morn leading by 36. Watching the margin evaporate at the hands of Drew Brees and Greg Jennings must have been painful. The Primetime duo finished with 44 to secure the win for the Beasts.

Travelin’ Fools 82, Reedy River Cards 63: Balance ruled the day for the Fools. Six players scored in double-digits. Cards got a season-high 26 from rookie back Matt Forte. Not enough. Time running out for Reedy to notch a W. Journeymen are staring the post-season down.

2-4. Unacceptable. Three matchups figured into Monday night’s tussle. Congrats to Walker’s Talkers and Savage Animal for clinching playoff births. Beasts and Travelin’ Fools have the inside track on the remaining two spots. Hardware time. Let’s get to it.

Week 12 MVPs: Matt Cassel, Michael Turner and Chad Pennington

If your name is Dan Marino, Kurt Warner or Peyton Manning throwing for 400 yards in back-to-back games is no big deal. If your name is Matt Cassel, it is. Cassel posted 36 points again, this time vs the Dolphins. 415 yards, 3 TDs, 2 carries for 14, 1 TD. To think I dropped him TWICE. I couldn’t have been more wrong in my one-week-wonder assessment of Cassel. This dude is hurlin’ the rock. Is it the system? Is it Randy Moss? Could it be that Golden Boy Brady is overrated? Blasphemy!!

Michael ‘The Burner’ Turner has been lukewarm lately. Not on Sunday. Turner ran roughshod against the punchless Panthers D for 117 yards and 4 TDs. His 35 Fantasy points was a season best and his most since Week 1’s 34 vs the cowardly Lions. Next week he draws his ex employers, the Chargers. Think he’ll be motivated for that one?

Chad Pennington still plays in the NFL. Who knew? It seems the Patriots defense didn’t as they allowed Chad to eviscerate them to the tune of 341 yards and 4 total TDs. Pennington’s previous Fantasy point high was 20. On Sunday he dropped 32. It’s a fine time to own Chad. Upcoming contests against the Rams, 49ers and Chiefs are favorable indeed.

Week 12 LVPs: Frank Gore and the Philadelphia Eagles Offense

14 carries for 26 yards by the #3 RB entering Week 12? Yikes. That’s what Frank Gore produced on Sunday in Dallas. Not exactly what Fantasy owners are accustomed to. Two points won’t get it done when playoff spots are on the line. The Bills and Jets are up next. Don’t expect solid returns.

206 total yards. 5 turnovers. Zero touchdowns. One QB benched. It was a sunny Sunday for the vaunted Eagles offense. It took twelve weeks but the wheels have finally come off the Philly playoff bandwagon. B-West is hurt. Reggie Brown and LJ Smith have disappeared. Donovan McNabb is mentally shot. Other than that it’s peaches and ice cream in the city of brotherly love.

Wake-up Call of the Week: Randy Moss

The real Randy Moss finally showed up for the Patriots. 125 yards and 3 touchdowns. The petulant wideout ripped the Fins for 30 Fantasy points, easily surpassing his Week 7 high of 18. Temper your excitement, the Steelers are next. However, after that Randy and the Pats face Seattle, Oakland and Arizona. He could prove key in capturing a Fantasy Football title.

Workin’ the Wire Pickup of the Week: Warrick Dunn

With Bucs’ workhorse Earnest Graham shelved for the remainder of the season, the Furry Beasts deftly swept in and claimed his replacement, the ageless Warrick Dunn. His second stint in Tampa has been a welcome homecoming. Dunn has topped 50 total yards nine times in ’08. Not bad for a 33 year old runner. Dunn too will be a valuable piece to many Fantasy Championship puzzles.

The Week 12 Self-Love Trophy: Terrell Owens

Raise your hand if you are at all shocked that malcontent Mr. Me Terrell Owens delivered his best performance of 2008 days after pouring his selfish guts out to Primetime Deion Sanders in an NFL Network interview. What, no one is surprised? I didn’t think so. In his previous five starts T.O. totaled 21 points. On Sunday he racked up 27 versus the 49ers. 213 yards and a score. Frisco stupidly played Owens man-to-man. The Steelers, Giants and Ravens won’t be as foolish. So enjoy this one, T.O.

The Week 12 Bad Luck Award: The Lame Excuses

For the second consecutive week the New York Giants put the screws to the Lame Excuses thus costing them a potential victory. A week ago it was a last-minute change at kicker which resulted in a pathetic tie. This week Big Blue bounced Brandon Jacobs from their active roster, after declaring he would play, which killed the Excuses chances at winning. Eleventh hour substitutions have burned us all. I feel the Excuses’ pain.

Favorite Color of the Week: Yellow

I have to say, I’m looking at the color yellow in a whole new light.

I’m out. Everyone have a nice Turkey Day. I’ll post a Week 13 preview in between servings. Until then…

Week 12 Preview

“Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.”

–Bern Williams

Game of the Week: Savage Animal (9-2) vs Walker’s Talkers (10-1)

Fists will fly. Blood will spill. Only one will be left standing. The Gulfman League’s two best records and highest scoring squads wage a Week 12 war to seize control of the New York Division. Back in Week 3 Animal defeated the Talkers 99-74. Since then Walker’s conversing crew have won eight straight matchups. If Savage wins they could take the division. If the Talkers prevail, they all but wrap up a division title and #1 seed in the playoffs. Leading MVP candidate Kurt Warner will face his toughest challenge when the G-Men come to town. Ronnie Brown draws the Pats, who he shredded for 38 points back in September. For Animal, stud RB Clinton Portis gets a Seahawks D ranked 21st vs the rush. Man-child Marshall looks to exploit a suddenly stingy Raiders secondary. The Panthers-Falcons tilt will go a long way in deciding this melee. Roddy White outplays DeAngelo Williams. Talkers earn a hard-fought ninth consecutive victory.

Runner-up Game of the Week: Syracuse ManahManah (6-5) vs Frank (5-6)

Two old-school wideouts lock horns in what amounts to an elimination game in the Carolina Division. Manah need a W to keep pace, while Frank will need life-support if they lose. Can you feel the tension? Frank must lean on Marshawn Lynch who looks to follow a dominating Monday night performance by ripping the Chiefs’ porous defense. The ‘Cuse roll out rookie runner Steve Slaton who should dissect a Browns rush D that allows a hefty 150 yards per game. Frank’s D.C. combo of Campbell and Moss are primed to destroy the Seahawks’ 31st ranked pass D. The Orange fall.

Other Matchups:

Steelcats (5-6) vs Arkansas PrettyMouths (4-6-1): This isn’t 2007, so the Cats backfield of LT and B-West is unreliable. Anquan Boldin leads all receivers in points with 140 despite missing two games. Impressive. Romo and Willie Parker are key. Arkansas downs Steel City.

Lame Excuses (5-5-1) vs The Grizz (3-8): Can Matt Cassel deliver a repeat performance for The Grizz? Probably not. The Excuses should get a rebound from Kyle Orton who faces the Rams. However, Brandon Jacobs’ bum knee will be a factor. League-leading Packers D wins it for the Lame ones.

Furry Beasts (7-4) vs The Negotiators (4-7): A season-ending injury to Earnest Graham deals a blow to the Beasts. Replacing his production won’t be easy. Deal-makers need Manning and AP to shine. Furry ones counter with Brees and Addai. Not enough. The Negotiators pull the upset.

Travelin’ Fools (6-4-1) vs Reedy River Cards (0-10-1): What do you think? Fools crush.

Bold Predictions:

Not a very auspicious debut for my Bold Predictions last week. 1-4. Only the Cowboys came through. However, the Dolphins did rush for 200+ against Oakland, but Brown and Williams only netted 150. Obviously I need to pick it up. So here it goes:

The Giants will hold Kurt Warner under 200 yards passing: Kurt has four 300 yard games in a row. Big Blue’s 2nd ranked pass D puts an end to that Sunday in the desert.

Kerry Collins will out-duel Brett Favre: Jets are 28th vs the pass. Collins has thrown for 519 yards and 5 touchdowns in his last two starts.

The Colts will beat the Chargers by at least 14: A 32nd ranked pass defense. Peyton Manning. Who ya got?

The Chiefs will defeat the Bills: I’m going to try again with KC. Bills are losers of three straight and look to be spiraling out of control.

The Lions will upset the Bucs for their first win of ’08: Call it a hunch. If Detroit doesn’t get one here they are staring at 0-16 for certain.

I’m done. Back Tuesday to put a bow on Week 12. Until then…

Week 11 Recap

Don't make me drop my pants!

More wackiness in Week 11. We had the first tie in six years. There was also the first ever 11-10 final score in the history of the NFL. Twelve running backs topped 100 yards while three quarterbacks attempted 50+ throws. Let’s take a gander at the scoreboard, shall we.

Savage Animal 90, Steelcats 70: New arrival Tyler Thigpen chipped in a valuable 21, while Cats’ QB Pennington managed only 8. Another B-West flop hurts steel city. DeAngelo Williams delivers 26 and Megatron adds 12. Savage moves to 9-2 heading into a huge showdown with the Talkers.

Furry Beasts 69, Frank 68: This division battle lived-up to expectations. A Trent Edwards TD sneak, instead of a handoff to Marshawn Lynch, prevents Frank from winning. Joseph Addai’s MVP-worthy 26 paces the Beasts. A deuce by Santana Moss kills Frank. Furry ones stay atop the Carolina Division.

Walker’s Talkers 94, The Grizz 65: Kurt Warner keeps tearing up the NFL in his bid to claim another MVP. His 22 Fantasy points tie him with Drew Brees for the Gulfman League lead. T.J.’s 20 for the Grizz not nearly enough as new kicker Mason Crosby adds 16 for Walker’s prattling posse.

Arkansas PrettyMouths 58, Lame Excuses 58: Tell me this is a joke. Another TIE??? Ugh. The Excuses were screwed by a G-Men switcheroo at kicker. Carney out, Tynes in. Meanwhile, Willis McGahee continues to frustrate the PrettyMouths. His single point effort proved costly.

Syracuse ManahManah 106, Reedy River Cards 35: The Cards only fielded a seven man team. Not that it mattered as Gore and Slaton drop 45 for the ‘Cuse. Win keeps the Manah’s playoff aspirations alive.

Travelin’ Fools 87, The Negotiators 86: Backfield brouhaha in this one. Barber and Jones-Drew combine for 40. AP and Burner Turner, 28. That was the difference. At 6-4-1 the vagabonds are on the cusp of a playoff birth.

3-2 with a push. Respectable. Only one contest decided on Monday night. But we did have our second tie of the season. Romo was 2 yards shy of 200. That one lil’ point would’ve won it for Arkansas. Not to be. What is to be is the Week 11 hardware.

Week 11 MVPs: Joseph Addai and DeAngelo Williams

From doghouse to penthouse. Joesph Addai, a 2008 bust so far, racked up 153 yards from scrimmage and scored two touchdowns. His 26 Fantasy points were tops in Week 11. Lest you think this performance was a mirage, look at Addai’s next four opponents: Chargers, Browns, Bengals, Lions. All four defenses allow 100+ rushing yards. Joesph could be earning some more hardware in the coming weeks.

DeAngelo Williams now has more points than LT, Westbrook and Marshawn Lynch, all first-round Fantasy backs. D-Will’s 24 on Sunday was his second consecutive 20+ performance. He’s scored at least one touchdown in four straight games. With Panthers’ QB Jake Delhomme struggling, Williams and backfield mate Jonathan Stewart should see continued success.

Week 11 LVPs: Brian Westbrook and Philip Rivers

The only reason B-West didn’t earn a horse’s ass trophy last week was because he was playing the Giants. No such excuse this week. His opponent was the Bengals and their 25th ranked rush defense. What did Brian do? 60 yards running, 11 receiving, 0 TDs. Pathetic. He’s clearly not 100% healthy but come on, it’s the Bungals. Ravens are up next so if you own Westbrook, consider other options.

Philip Rivers has been lights-out for most of the 2008 campaign until he ran into the modern-day Steel Curtain defense on Sunday. 159 yards passing, 0 TD, 2 INTs. Awful. 7 Fantasy points won’t get it done for Rivers’ owners. The resurgent Colts are next for Phil. He should fare better.

Johnny Utah Golden Arm of the Week: Matt Cassel

Given to the former Ohio State signal caller who blew out his knee then joined the FBI to nab a gang of surfing bank robbers, or the quarterback least likely to lead a Fantasy week in scoring. Cassel’s 36 points Thursday night versus the Jets is the best outing by any QB in the Gulfman League this season. Final numbers: 30-51, 400, 3 TDs, 62 yards rushing. Phenomenal. A hot waiver-wire claim for sure. Although, I doubt he comes close to posting similar stats the rest of the way.

Week 11 Wake-up Call: Ryan Grant

A good week for disappointing runners. First Addai, then Ryan Grant. 145 yards and a touch against the Bears good for 20 Fantasy points. Easily his best day of the year. Ryan was a second-half wonder a season ago so perhaps he’s hitting his stride. Upcoming matchups with the Saints, Texans and Jaguars will do nothing but help his cause.

Wonder of the Week: Justin Gage

A Titans’ wide receiver earning any sort of accolade is definitely a wonder. Gage ripped through the Jags’ secondary to the tune of 147 yards and 2 scores. One week it’s Gage, next week it’s Bo Scaife, then it’s Brandon Jones. Who the hell can figure the Titans’ passing attack? Better off steering clear of all these guys. Too unpredictable.

Lost Boy of the Week: Donovan McNabb

After the brutal 13-13 tie between the Eagles and Bengals, Birds’ QB Donovan McNabb revealed this little nugget: He didn’t know that a regular season NFL game could end in a tie. Huh? You mean to say in his 31 years on this planet he’s never seen or heard of a professional football contest ending all square? DMac is a famous prankster so I thought he might have been joking in his post-game press conference. Then I saw the video. It was no joke. Donovan needs to put down the latest Chunky Soup script and pick up a copy of the NFL rulebook. How a Pro Bowl quarterback in the league for ten years doesn’t know the basic rules is incomprehensible. That’s all I have to say about that…

Rookies of the Week: Dustin Keller and Peyton Hillis

Jets tight end Dustin Keller joins a growing list of rookies taking the NFL by storm. Keller keyed the Jets thrilling Thursday night victory over the Pats by catching 6 passes for 87 yards. The week before, he grabbed 6 for 107 and a touchdown. Graybeard Favre is turning the former Purdue Boilermaker into one of his favorite targets.

Peyton Hillis, a rookie fullback, is now the Broncos starting tailback thanks to injuries to Michael Pittman, Andre Hall, Selvin Young and Ryan Torain. Geez. Hillis helped Denver trip the Falcons in Atlanta by totaling 70 yards and scoring two touchdowns. Peyton is the last man standing so expect him to pay solid dividends.

Gisele Pic of the Week:

What else is left to say except, lucky horse.

Fin. Back Thursday to preview Week 12. Until then…

Week 11 Preview

“Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.’

—Tom Landry

Game of the Week: Steelcats (5-5) vs Savage Animal (8-2)

“I must break you.” Seems like a harsh thing to say, but not when these old-school rivals go head-to-head. It’s a rematch from back in Week 2 when the Cats scored a 2008 League best 135 points in disposing of Animal. Savage’s 109 was respectable, just not enough. For Week 11, we thankfully say bye bye to the bye weeks. Both teams will be at full strength, although a boo boo on Clinton Portis’ knee might prevent him from taking the field Sunday night. Animal will have to make do with chubby TD machine LenDale White and the surprising DeAngelo Williams. The Cats counter with the disappointment of ’08, LT, who faces a powerful Steelers D. In addition B-West looks to improve on last week’s paltry 5 points. He gets the Bungals. At this point Anquan Boldin is unstoppable. He’ll shred Seattle and seal the deal for Steel City. Animal falls.

Runner-up Game of the Week: Furry Beasts (6-4) vs Frank (5-5)

Two of Fantasy Football’s underachieving runners square off in this critical Carolina Division skirmish. Injuries and poor offensive line play have limited Joseph Addai thus far. He looks to rebound against a Texans rush defense that ranks 23rd. Marshawn Lynch has still not eclipsed 100 yards rushing in any game. A Monday night meeting with the Browns’ 26th rated run D could be a perfect remedy. Quarterbacks will decide the outcome in this one. The Beasts’ Drew Brees will pick apart the lowly Chiefs. For Frank, Philip Rivers will struggle against the Steelers. Furry ones maintain the top spot in their division.

Other Matchups:

Walker’s Talkers (9-1) vs The Grizz (3-7): The runaway fantasy freight train that are the Talkers have won seven straight. The Grizz are fresh off an upset of the first-place Beasts. Brown, Colston and White all get easy defenses. Just not enough for The Grizz. Talkers win again.

Arkansas PrettyMouths (4-6) vs Lame Excuses (5-5): The defending champ PrettyMouths are reeling after dropping four in a row. They welcome back Tony Romo and his busted lil’ pinkie. Fitzgerald should rip the Seahawks. The Excuses are all about Brandon Jacobs. He draws the Ravens’ #1 rush defense. Arkansas rolls.

Syracuse ManahManah (5-5) vs Reedy River Cards (0-9-1): No need to extrapolate. ‘Cuse take it.

The Negotiators (4-6) vs Travelin’ Fools (5-4-1): Fools are third in total points and keep hangin’ around. Backfield of Barber and Jones-Drew both have tough matchups. The Deal-makers have been done in by bad receivers. Manning v Texans. Burner Turner v Broncos. That will suffice. The Negotiators bargain their way to victory.

Bold Predictions:

New feature at League News. No more soapbox. Instead, I’ll offer myself up to ridicule by proclaiming a few bold predictions for Week 11 of the NFL season. Here it goes:

The Phillies are World Champions!!: Not really a prediction, just a declaration of fact.

The Chiefs will beat the Saints: Kansas City has lost its last three by a combined 8 points. New Orleans is 0-4 on the road.

The Titans will lose to the Jaguars: Tennessee has to drop one sometime. They haven’t swept the Jags since 2003.

The Cowboys will beat the Redskins: The Steelers exposed the Skins a couple weeks back. Dallas doesn’t have the Steelers defense, but Romo returns.

Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams will run for 200 yards vs the Raiders: Oakland allows 158 rushing yards per game. DeAngelo Williams went for 140 last week.

The Colts will score 40 against the Texans: Indy has yet to hit 40 in 2008. That will end on Sunday. Houston is 29th in points allowed.

I’m out. Back on Tuesday to recap the Week 11 festivities. Until then…

Week 10 Recap

He just won't go away.

Defending home turf was problematic in Week 10. Broncos, Titans, Ravens, Colts and Giants all sprung victories in unfriendly confines. Titans and Giants are still at the top. Look out, Colts are back. Oh yeah, the Lions and Chiefs lose yet again. Lots o’ tight games in the Gulfman League this week. Let’s go to the scoreboard.

Walker’s Talkers 116, Frank 79: After Thursday night’s scoring bonanza, Frank looked like he had a shot. Winslow Jr. spotted him a 23 point lead. Then Walker’s babbling brood took the field and showed why they’re the Gulfman League’s best team. Thomas Jones racks 32. Old man Kurt adds 25.

Savage Animal 74, Syracuse ManahManah 65: Animal took an 18 point advantage into the Monday night affair. The Manah’s Frank Gore stood in the way of victory. 9 points by the 49ers workhorse doesn’t get it done. DeAngelo Williams nets 20 to help Savage move to 8-2.

Travelin’ Fools 92, Arkansas PrettyMouths 75: Marion Barber be damned! Who needs him? Not the Fools when Cutler and Jones-Drew drop 60. McGahee decided to play this week for Arkansas but his 23 wasn’t enough. The PrettyMouths are 0-4 since shaking up their roster.

Steelcats 67, Reedy River Cards 65: This was the week. I was feelin’ it! Cards had the Cats beat. A 21 point lead after Sunday’s games. Not to be. Steel city avoids a meltdown thanks to Boldin’s 22 under the lights. Cats climb back to .500 with a third straight win. Reedy remains winless.

Lame Excuses 90, The Negotiators 82: Another fantastic Week 10 finish. Deal-makers led 82-66 entering Sunday night’s Eagles-Giants tilt. Lame ones trotted out team MVP Brandon Jacobs who plowed through a weak Philly D for 24 Fantasy points. Negotiators lose despite AP’s best outing thus far.

The Grizz 69, Furry Beasts 66: The hirsute hibernators changed their name from Grizzlies to The Grizz. Good call because nobody beats THE GRIZZ. Not even the shaggy Beasts. Tight ends Gates and Gonzalez combine for 35. Only scoring-leader Drew Brees showed up for the Furry ones.

2-4. I’m embarrassed. Three key games were decided on Monday Night. Who knew a 49ers-Cardinals showdown would prove to be so important? Grab your acceptance speeches. It’s awards time.

Week 10 MVPs: Jay Cutler, Thomas Jones and Adrian Peterson

So much for Cutler struggling. The awful-haired quarterback broke out of a three-week funk to toast the Browns on Thursday night. Final numbers: 24-42, 471, 3 TDs, 1 INT, 29 yards rushing. His 33 Fantasy points are a season high for signal callers. Check out his next four games: Falcons, Raiders, Jets and Chiefs. All are favorable matchups. Denver now has four injured running backs, so expect Cutler to toss the pigskin a bunch down the stretch.

All the so-called Fantasy experts forecasted a huge game for Thomas Jones. Well, they were correct. How’s 149 yards and 3 touchdowns sound? Jones has eight total scores in his last five games. Upcoming games against the Broncos, 49ers and Seahawks is good news for Jones’ owners.

I hope Head Coach Brad Childress and the rest of the Vikings thanked AP for their win on Sunday. The do-all runner was responsible for 225 yards of offense and a touchdown. Gus Frerotte tried to give it away with three interceptions, but Peterson piled the purple guys on his back and carried them to a W. Up next for AP is a black-n-blue encounter with the Bears next Sunday night.

Week 10 LVPs: Chris Johnson, Bernard Berrian and Jake Delhomme

Speedy rook Chris Johnson finally laid an egg. 10 carries for 8 yards, 2 catches for 15. Yikes! The Titans’ vaunted rushing attack was held to 20 yards by a stingy Bears defense. Johnson had yet to rush for less than 44 yards and his three game touchdown streak came to an end. Consider this flat performance an anomaly. Look for Johnson to get right next week versus the Jags.

Entering Sunday Bernard Berrian had scored a touchdown in four straight games. Against Charles Woodson and the Green Bay Packers, Berrian had ZERO catches. Not befitting of a #1 wide receiver. Lucky for the Vikings AP played his ass off.

Jake Delhomme has never been a very reliable Fantasy quarterback but you’d think a matchup with the Raiders would be just what the doctor ordered. Looks like he got a bad prescription. 7-27, 72 yards, 1 TD, 4 INT. Six Fantasy points? Against the Raiders? Maybe DeAngelo Hall was the problem.

Week 10 Wake-up Calls: Willis McGahee and Marques Colston

Willis McGahee was talkin’ about 112 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns on Sunday. The oft injured Ravens’ runner posted a season high 23 Fantasy points. He’ll face a stiffer test next week when Baltimore travels to the Meadowlands to face mighty Big Blue.

It took ten weeks but Marques Colston finally decided to do something for the Saints. In a blowout loss to the Falcons, Colston caught 7 passes for 140 yards. The Saints go marching to Kansas City next Sunday so Marques could be in line for another big game.

Flake of the Week: Ricky Williams

Pot smoking, wedding dress wearing oddball Ricky Williams put down his pipe long enough to total 126 yards and a score for the Fins. “Wildcat” Ronnie Brown has been bogarting most of the glory in ’08, but he passed to the left on Sunday and let Ricky experience the high of a trip to the endzone. Far out, man.

Hyphenated Last Names of the Week: Jones-Drew and Green-Ellis

Little Hercules Maurice Jones-Drew was the latest running back to feast on the feeble Lions. 91 total yards and 3 touchdowns was enough to satisfy Maurice’s appetite. Jones-Drew’s yardage numbers have been inconsistent but he has reached paydirt nine times thus far.

Is there a cooler name than BenJarvus Green-Ellis? I think not. Green-Ellis rumbled for a season best 105 yards against the Bills on Sunday. He has now scored in four consecutive weeks. With Patriot backs dropping faster than the stock market, cross your fingers BenJarvus stays healthy.

Head-scratcher of the Week: The Steelcats’ running backs

Stay with me on this one. It’s wild. The Steelcats correctly started LT and B-West, arguably the two most dangerous players in Fantasy Football. At least they were. On Sunday they combined for 15 Fantasy points. Here’s what the guys on the Cats’ bench did: Mewelde Moore, 21 points. Kevin Smith, 17 points. Jerrious Norwood, 15 points. Fortunately, the Cats avoided disaster and pulled out a win. Cases like this make Fantasy Football maddening.

Obscure Stat of the Week:

Five Tight Ends, Tony Scheffler, Daniel Graham, Nate Jackson, Steve Heiden and Kellen Winslow Jr., combined to catch 20 passes for 303 yards and 3 touchdowns in the Broncos-Browns shootout.

Catch of the Week: Hank Baskett

The hell with the Donovan McNabb fade pass for a touchdown, Eagles WR Hank Baskett made the grab of the year by proposing to playmate Kendra Wilkinson. The Girls Next Door starlet has been spotted at Birds’ games for the last few months fueling speculation there was a little hanky-panky going on. Congrats to Hank! And congrats to me! I’m certain FOX will inundate every Eagles broadcast with gratuitous shots of Kendra cheering for her man.

That puts a period on Week 10. I shall return Thursday with another weekly preview. Until then…

Week 10 Preview

“We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.”

–Bruce Coslet

Game of the Week: Walker’s Talkers (8-1) vs Frank (5-4)

The League’s two hottest teams collide in a Week 10 donnybrook. The Talkers are cruising, winners of six straight, while Frank has reeled off three-in-a-row. Walker’s gabby group have been virtually unstoppable thus far so it will be no easy task for Frank to spring an upset. Tim Hightower, Donnie Avery and Rashied Davis are hardly household names but each has helped the Talkers reach a League best 8-1. Stalwarts Kurt Warner and Ronnie Brown both draw questionable defenses. For Frank, Philip Rivers returns from a bye to face the Chiefs sieve-like secondary. However, no Santana Moss will greatly hurt their chances. Frank will prove worthy but it would be stupid to bet against the top-dog. Talkers talk Frank to death.

Runner-up Game of the Week: Savage Animal (7-2) vs Syracuse ManahManah (5-4)

A Fantasy vs Reality showdown as two Eagles fans look to flex their fantasy muscles while they hope for a Philly win. Animal came crashing down last week and this Sunday will be without #1 RB Clinton Portis. They will turn to portly goal-line vulture LenDale White who leads the NFL with 10 touchdowns. The Manah roll out DMac5 fresh off a weekly MVP award, but he goes against the sack-happy G-Men. Scintillating rookie Steve Slaton runs into the Ravens top-ranked rush defense. This one is gonna be close. Frank Gore owns the Cardinals and he’ll be the difference. ‘Cuse trips Savage.

Other Matchups:

Arkansas PrettyMouths (4-5) vs Travelin’ Fools (4-4-1): Arkansas was on a roll before they started dealin’. Now they’ve lost three straight. Fools are still afloat but a tough loss last week set them back. Fitzy and Andre Johnson should have big games for the PrettyMouths. No Marion Barber and a struggling Jay Cutler will hinder the vagabonds. Arkansas takes it.

Steelcats (4-5) vs Reedy River Cards (0-8-1): It’s the Cats turn to deliver a beating to the hapless Cards. If LT is ever going to return to form it’ll be this week. He gets the Chiefs. Pennington, B-West, Boldin. Too much firepower. No Witten or Bush for Reedy means they get ripped.

Lame Excuses (4-5) vs The Negotiators (4-5): More QB issues for the Excuses with Garcia off and Orton likely out. Brandon Jacobs is all they have left. Negotiators will once again rely on AP and Burner Turner to carry the team. Deal-makers even their record at 5-5.

Grizzlies (2-7) vs Furry Beasts (6-3): It’s been a tough ’08 for the Griz. Steven Jackson’s nagging injuries are becoming a problem. Only super-rook Chris Johnson has panned out. Beasts keep on keepin’ on and welcome back MVP front-runner Drew Brees. Furry ones have difficulties at RB, but that won’t prevent them from a third consecutive win.

Fantasy Soapbox: Quarterback Quandaries

It has been a nightmare season for signal callers. Ever since Tom Brady got his knee bent in the wrong direction back in Week 1, quarterbacks have been dropping at an uncanny rate. Injuries to Brady, Romo, Palmer, Hasselbeck, Kitna, Orton, Schaub and Big Ben have left Fantasy owners scouring the free-agent scrap heap for replacements. The available names don’t exactly instill confidence for desperate owners: Thigpen, Flacco, Cassel, Fitzpatrick, Wallace and Hill. Sounds like a second-rate law firm made up of ‘C’ grade lawyers. So what’s one to do? Well, you could seek out a willing trade partner who has the luxury of QB depth. Might be able to get your hands on Jeff Garcia or Jason Campbell, who are more than capable of posting respectable numbers. Or you can simply roll the dice on someone like Brady Quinn or Daunte Culpepper and hope they’re enough to keep your Fantasy team from sinking. Make the right move, you’re a genius. Make the wrong move, you’ll be the butt of league-wide jokes. It’s these kinds of quandaries that make Fantasy Football so damn fun.

That’s all folks. Back on Tuesday to breakdown Week 10. Until then…

Week 9 Recap

That was close. We almost lost to the Chiefs!

Week 9 featured two more overtime games and three others decided by less than 4 points. The Bengals finally win, but the Lions and Chiefs lose again. Titans and Giants still look like the teams to beat. Let’s go to the scoreboard.

Furry Beasts 69, Savage Animal 62: Animal finally falters. A Matt Schaub knee injury and an off night for Portis propels Savage to defeat. Aaron Rodgers filled-in nicely for Drew Brees and Owen Daniels adds a crucial 13 points for the Beasts. Furry ones stay atop their division.

Frank 70, Lame Excuses 59: Shrewd move by Frank to start Donald Driver. He busts out with 17. A first-half injury to Kyle Orton killed the Excuses. Frank continues to surge with a third consecutive W.

Syracuse ManahManah 94, Arkansas PrettyMouths 69: Eagles’ McNabb and Akers go for 38 combined. McGahee chose not to participate for Arkansas. Matt Ryan was solid, everyone else was soft. ‘Cuse are tied for second place in the Carolina Division.

Steelcats 78, Travelin’ Fools 68: LT was off and B-West netted only 9, but Anthony Gonzalez chipped in a surprising 17 for the Cats. The Fools pass catchers totaled a pathetic 9 points and Marion the Barbarian flopped against the G-Men. Two straight victories for Steel City.

Walker’s Talkers 96, Reedy River Cards 34: A laugher as expected. You know the Talkers are livin’ right when they start Rashied Davis and he delivers 12 points. Warner and the Falcons D lead the charge with 35. Four members of the Cards scored 0. Walker’s chatty chums own the League’s best record at 8-1.

The Negotiators 78, Grizzlies 65: Deal-makers end 2 game skid. AP and Steelers D dominate. Only speedy rook Chris Johnson put up points for the Griz sending them to a fifth straight loss. Negotiators stay alive with the win.

5-1. Can’t complain about that. Three contests came down to Monday night. Time to divvy up some much-deserved Week 9 hardware.

Week 9 MVPs: Kurt Warner and Donovan McNabb

Two quarterbacks are tearing it up in 2008. Drew Brees and oldman Warner. Kurt shred the Rams defense to the tune of 342 yards passing and 2 TDs. The Cardinals offense totaled 510 yards. Warner has three 300+ games and one 400+ game this season. A home matchup next Monday night with the brutal 49ers awaits. Look for another scintillating performance.

DMac5 earns his first Weekly MVP after torching the floundering Seahawks secondary for 349 yards and a pair of touchdowns. Don went 3-13, 57 yards, 1 INT in the first quarter. He was 25-30, 292, 2 TDs the remaining three quarters. His slow starts are becoming a concern, but he’s still putting up numbers that will satisfy Fantasy owners.

Week 9 LVPs: The Oakland Raiders Offense

To be fair, the Raiders offense hasn’t exactly been stellar, but versus Atlanta they compiled a whopping 77 net yards. Let me write that again. 77. They had -2 yards in the first half. JaMarcus Russell threw for 31 yards and 1 INT. Russell also led the team in rushing with 46 yards, a rushing offense that was 8th best entering Week 9. I’ve seen Atlanta’s defense, it’s not that good. Why would anyone want to coach the Raiders? The Lions are a joke, but Oakland is a disaster. They should just forfeit the rest of their schedule.

Honorable mention: Marshawn Lynch ran for 16 yards against the Jets. He did catch 3 balls for 52, but this guy is looking like a stiff as of late. Brandon Marshall caught 2 passes for 27 yards in a loss to the Dolphins. Miami has the 24th ranked pass defense. Something is seriously wrong with the Broncos O.

Graybeard of the Week: Derrick Mason

34 year old Derrick Mason continues to perform despite a myriad of QB issues in Baltimore. He snatched 9 passes for 136 yards and 1 TD on Sunday. Rookie QB Joe Flacco gets better every week which is good news for Mason owners. Derrick is on pace to eclipse 1000 yards in ’08. If he does it’ll be the 7th time in his career.

Wake-up Call of the Week: Donald Driver

It took nine weeks but Driver finally surpassed 100 yards in a game. Donald grabbed 7 for 136 and a touchdown against a stout Titans defense. He was Week 9’s top WR. Driver has clearly been overtaken by Greg Jennings as the-go-to-guy, but apparently he’s not washed-up yet. Perhaps increased attention to Jennings will benefit Driver and his owners.

The ‘WTF’ of the Week: Cedric Benson

Cedric Benson still plays in the NFL. He plays for the Bengals. Not only does he play, he starts. On Sunday he ran over a suddenly awful Jaguars D. 104 yards and 1 TD!! Benson actually helped Cincinnati win their first game of 2008. Maybe he realized the Bengals are his last shot at NFL fame. If you fail with the Bungals where the hell do you go? I’m sure ESPN would add him to their overcrowded stable of ex-players turned analysts. He can join the likes of Jon Ritchie and Curtis Conway. What happened to ESPN?

Rookies of the Week: Joe Flacco, Ray Rice and Tim Hightower

Call me a broken record but this rookie class has been incredible. Every week more NFL neophytes stuff the stat sheets and assist their teams in victory.

Joe Flacco completed 17/29, 248, 2 TDs, 0 INTs. First Matt Ryan, now Flacco. Are NFL defenses this bad or are these guys really good? I just don’t know. What I do know is Joe Flacco has thrown 4 touchdowns and no picks in his last three starts, all Ravens’ wins.

Flacco’s backfield mate Ray Rice filled-in for the oft-injured Willis McGahee and ran for 154 yards and added 3 grabs for 22. Rice, like Steve Slaton, is another rookie runner who mysteriously slipped in the April draft. Mason, Flacco, Rice. Three Ravens getting props? How bad are the Browns?

Tim Hightower finally got a start and boy did he deliver. 109 yards and 1 TD. He’s been vulturing touchdowns all season but had never gained more than 37 yards prior to Sunday. Bye, bye Edgerrin James. Hello Tim Hightower.

Another Gisele sighting:

While Goldenboy Tom recuperates from his 18th knee surgery in a month, his hot Brazilian girlfriend is keeping busy. How does she do it? Photo shoots, magazine covers, commercials. Whew! It must be grueling. Anyway, League News paparazzi got their hands on this exotic, yet tasteful pic. Looks like she borrowed a pair of Tom’s undies. Weird.

I got nothin’ else for ya. Back on Thursday for a looksee at Week 10. Remember, Thursday night games begin this week. Until then…

Week 9 Preview

“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

—George Rogers

Game of the Week: Furry Beasts (5-3) vs Savage Animal (7-1)

Trick or treat Fantasy fans. A spooky scary battle of division leaders highlights the Week 9 schedule. Historically, Savage Animal and its former incarnations have struggled against the Beasts. Get ready for a knock-down-drag-out tooth and claw bloodbath as both squads look to maintain the top spot in their respective divisions. Animal is tied for the best record and is the only team to score over 700 points. The Furry ones are holding off a surge with three rivals within 1 game of first-place. Savage is led by red-hot Matt Schaub and gets Man-child Marshall back from a bye. The Beasts will be without leading MVP candidate Drew Brees but welcomes back Greg Jennings and possibly Joe Addai. #1 Running Backs will be the deciding factor. Portis draws the stubborn Steelers, Earnest Graham gets the horrible Chiefs. Beasts civilize Savage.

Runner-up Game of the Week: Frank (4-4) vs Lame Excuses (4-4)

Two of the NFC East’s elite pass catchers look to blow-up in this encounter between teams wanting to keep pace. Santana Moss is tied for the lead in receiver Fantasy points with 95. Meanwhile, T.O. ranks 14th with 70 and has combined for a meager 9 points in his last three games. Frank could be without Reggie Wayne and Marshawn Lynch has yet to crack the 100 yard plateau. For the Excuses, QB Kyle Orton has surprised and faces the feeble Lions, but Larry Johnson’s wayward ways are costing them big time. No Philip Rivers for Frank but they’ll survive to win their 3rd straight.

Other Matchups:

Syracuse ManahManah (4-4) vs Arkansas PrettyMouths (4-4): No trades this week for the PrettyMouths. Willie Parker will get his first start. Fitzgerald, Johnson and Jones all have favorable matchups. The ‘Cuse will miss Frank Gore and both Grant and Slaton face tough defenses. PrettyMouths take it.

Travelin’ Fools (4-3-1) vs Steelcats (3-5): Cats are 3-5 but sit 4th in total points. Boldin and B-West are touchdown machines. Fools say hi to Jay Cutler but bye, bye to Steve Smith for a week. Too much fire power for the steel city felines. Fools’ win streak comes to an end.

Reedy River Cards (0-7-1) vs Walker’s Talkers (7-1): The mismatch of the season. Rookie Donnie Avery brings more punch to the heavyweight Talkers. No Delhomme or Bush for the Cards. Warner and Ronnie Brown lead the destruction for the Talkers.

The Negotiators (3-5) vs Grizzlies (2-6): The Griz need Steven Jackson to return. If he does, he joins rookie-of-the-year Chris Johnson to form a solid 1-2 punch. Burner Turner and AP continue to carry the weight for the Deal-makers and each will feast on weak D. The Negotiators notch a victory.

Fantasy Soapbox: Draft Rewind

At this point we’ve been able to spot the movers and shakers of Fantasy ’08. On the flipside, it’s easy to tell who has underachieved or busted. So let’s rewind and analyze all twelve Gulfman League rosters from draft day to identify the hits and misses.

1) Arkansas PrettyMouths: 1st overall pick LT disappointed and was eventually traded. 3rd round pick Colston got hurt Week 1 and was also dumped. Hit: 5th rounder Ronnie Brown. Miss: 4th rounder Ricky Williams.

2) The Negotiators: AP hasn’t been dominant but he’s consistent. Peyton Manning is still rounding into form. Hit: 2nd rounder Michael Turner. He’s hot-and-cold but is 7th in RB points. Miss: Santonio Holmes. His best move so far is getting busted for pot.

3) Steelcats: If B-West and Boldin hadn’t suffered injuries Cats would be in playoff hunt. Hit: 13th round QB Chad Pennington. Not spectacular but serviceable. Miss: Chris Perry. Was supposed to take over for Rudi Johnson, instead he was replaced by Cedric Benson.

4) Furry Beasts: Drafted the #1 and #4 QBs plus the #4 WR Greg Jennings. Hit: Aaron Rodgers selected in the 9th round. Miss: 1st rounder Joseph Addai. Even when healthy Addai has failed to live up to expectations.

5) Grizzlies: A holdout by Steven Jackson and an injury to Houshmandzadeh’s QB really damaged the Griz. Hit: Rookie RB Chris Johnson in the 8th round. Miss: 4th round pick Big Ben. He’s nowhere close to his 2007 self.

6) Travelin’ Fools: A solid roster from top to bottom. Barber and Steve Smith are getting it done. Hit: Jay Cutler in the 8th. Has slowed recently but was a value pick. Miss: 5th rounder Marvin Harrison. Looks like Marvin has lost it.

7) Savage Animal: 1st rounder Clinton Portis is exceeding expectations as is QB Matt Schaub. Hit: 4th rounder LenDale White. A touchdown vulture on par with Leroy Hoard and Harvey Williams. Miss: Braylon Edwards. 16 TDs in ’07. Just 2 in ’08. A major bust.

8: Syracuse ManahManah: Hanging tough despite disappointing 2nd and 3rd round selections. Hit: Rookie runner Steve Slaton nabbed in the 8th round. Miss: 3rd rounder Chad Ocho Cinco. The only thing more laughable than his name change has been his play on the field.

9) Walker’s Talkers: Traded away Parker and McGahee but is still 7-1. Impressive. Hit: 6th rounder Roddy White. Tied for first in WR points. Miss: Willis McGahee in the third. Only two scores before being dealt to the PrettyMouths.

10) Reedy River Cards: When your first round pick blows out his knee Week 1 it’s not your year. Hit: Matt Forte in the 7th. Fourth in RB points. Miss: 3rd rounder Torry Holt. Like Marvin Harrision, it seems Big Game is done.

11) Lame Excuses: Still in the hunt despite poor production from first three picks. Hit: 4th round pick Brandon Jacobs. 6 TDs thus far. Miss: Larry Johnson, the 11th overall pick. Beats up women better than he does defenses.

12) Frank: 12th spot can be a blessing or a curse. It’s been a little of both for Frank: Hit: The hit of the draft, QB Philip Rivers in the 10th round. Miss: 3rd rounder Darren McFadden. Slowed by turf toe the rookie has delivered only one good game.

Okay ghosts and goblins, that’s all I got. Back on Tuesday with another recap. Until then…

Week 8 Recap

Portrait of a Raider.

Week 8 in the NFL was a mixed bag. Six contests were decided by 6 or less points. Five double-digit losses. Titans move  to 7-0. The Giants, as Champions so often do, found a way to win. The Chiefs, Bengals and Lions continue to find ways to lose. Let’s check the scoreboard.

Savage Animal 91, Arkansas PrettyMouths 80: Arkansas had Savage on the ropes entering Monday night. A 15 point lead slowly evaporated as Titans’ White and Bironas combine for 26. New arrival McGahee was his average self. Parker didn’t even play. Who will the PrettyMouths trade next? Does it really matter?

Travelin’ Fools 88, Syracuse ManahManah 74: Fools are rollin’ with their 3rd straight victory. Fill-in QB David Garrard tallies 25 and Steve Smith explodes (as predicted) for 23. The Manah are foiled by their receivers whom totaled only 17 points.

Steelcats 110, Grizzlies 54: Don’t look now, but the Cats are back. Runners LT and B-West combine for 54. Giants D added 15. Griz started Steven Jackson. Oops. Big Ben stunk up Pittsburgh by throwing 4 picks.

Walker’s Talkers 89, Lame Excuses 54: The Talkers appear unstoppable. Warner and Roddy White are dominating. New addition Colston even chipped in 5 points. The Excuses were led by their kicker, John Carney. That’s never a good thing.

Frank 83, The Negotiators 71: Rivers and Santana Moss shine for Frank. The Negotiators missed AP. Burner Turner was shut down again on the road against a legit D. Frank moves to within one game of first place in the Carolina Division.

Furry Beasts 78, Reedy River Cards 37: The Detroit Lions of the Gulfman League bumbled their away to another loss. Their pass catchers managed 0 points. Drew Brees and Shaun Suisham get it done for the division leading Beasts.

4-2. I can live with that. The Game of the Week was the only one that figured in on Monday night. It’s that time boys and girl. Hardware time.

Week 8 MVPs: Brian Westbrook and Drew Brees

B-West returned in a big, big way on Sunday. 209 total yards and 2 TDs. He nearly doubled his rushing stats for the season by shredding the Falcons D. Now, if he can only stay healthy the rest of the way he’ll bring plenty o’ smiles to the faces of Fantasy owners and Eagles fans alike. Next up are the Seahawks who allow a hefty 121 yards on the ground. If Brian can make it through practice this week he could be in for another huge game.

No Colston, no problem. Shockey is out. Big deal. Reggie Bush has a bad knee. So what. As long as Drew Brees has gentleman running routes he’ll produce. Drew and his Saints marched across the pond to old Londontown and he delivered another monster performance. 30-41, 339, 3 TDs. Brees continues his assault on Dan Marino’s record. 2563 yards in 8 games. You do the math.

Week 8 LVPs: Brandon Jacobs and Ronnie Brown

Let me preface this by pointing out that the Steelers are the second best defense against the run. So 18 carries for 47 yards by Jacobs isn’t a surprise. However, he had scored 6 TDs in his last four games. For future reference unless you own Portis, Barber or Chris Johnson you might consider benching anyone who plays the Steelers.

The Bills allow around 100 yards rushing per game, so Ronnie Brown’s 43 yards on 14 carries is unacceptable. Throw out Week 3 when he ran for 113 and scored 4 TDs, Ronnie has compiled 293 yards and 3 TDs in 6 games. Not very electrifying. On the bright side his next three are against Denver, Seattle and Oakland.

The Welcome Back Kotter Award: LaDainian Tomlinson

Vinnie Barbarino, Horshack and countless Fantasy owners welcomed back LT to respectability with open arms on Sunday. 170 total yards was his best so far in ’08. Toss in 1 TD and 22 Fantasy points proves large. He still doesn’t look quite right but two weeks to rest his ailing toe may be exactly what he needs. When he returns in Week 10 he’ll face the Chiefs’ 32nd ranked rush defense.

Wonder of the Week: Tyler Thigpen

Up until a couple days ago I thought Tyler Thigpen was a character from the Peanuts comic strip. A friend of mine informed me I was confusing Thigpen with Pigpen. My mistake. At any rate, Tyler lit up the Jets for 25-36, 280 yards, 2 TDs. Maybe Kansas City has finally found its QB? Or maybe the Jets are just that bad. Whatever the case, Pigpen, sorry, I mean Thigpen racked up 20 Fantasy points.

Honorable mention: Seahawk Leonard Weaver, a fullback, caught 4 passes for 116 yards and 2 TDs. Seattle has lost something like 37 WRs since training camp so someone has to catch the ball.

The Scratch Game: Grizzlies, Lame Excuses and Frank

Okay Fantasy Footballers it’s time to play the Scratch Game. First question: How many Gulfman League owners failed to check the pre-game injury report Sunday morning? Answer: 3.

Steven Jackson was scratched Sunday. The Griz kept him in their lineup anyway. Didn’t hurt them because the once-again-mighty Steelcats crushed them. But Jamal Lewis’ 14 points looks better than Jackson’s 0.

Sammy Morris was also a scratch. The Lame ones decided to keep him active. To be fair they had no one on the bench to go to, but that’s no excuse for the excuses. They could have added BenJarvus Green-Ellis who replaced Morris.

Frank elected to start Darren McFadden even though he was deactivated by the Raiders. Oh well. Luckily, Frank still pulled out a win.

None of these owners were hurt by these lineup blunders. Fool me once…

From the Police Blotter: LJ, Santonio Holmes and Deuce McAllister

I always chuckle when rich, pampered athletes run afoul of the law. Here’s the latest list of bozos who are costing Fantasy owners.

Larry Johnson – Larry likes to beat up and spit on women in nightclubs. I’ve never tried these methods myself, but to each their own. LJ’s antics have cost him two games so far.

Santonio Holmes – “Fire it up Holmes!” Apparently, Santonio was hangin’ with Cheech and Chong last week and forgot to remove the blunts from his car. His discretion got him suspended on Sunday. Steelers probably could have used him in their 21-14 loss to the Giants.

Deuce McAllister – Deuce played well in London but a suspension looms for violating the League’s substance abuse policy. It seems McAllister took “water pills” which are banned. He’ll likely take a 4 game hit for digesting what amounts to water. The NFL Drug Policy is becoming ridiculous.

Rookies of the Week: Donnie Avery and Matt Ryan

The 2008 rookie class keeps getting better. Rams WR Donnie Avery caught 6 passes for 163 yards and a touchdown versus the Patriots. In his last three games, Donnie has amassed 291 yards and scored twice. Upcoming games against the Cardinals, Jets and 49ers bodes well.

I got to watch Matt Ryan for a whole game on Sunday and came away impressed. I’ve seen many young QBs turn to mush in Philly against Jim Johnson’s blitzing defense. Ryan held up pretty well completing 23-44, 277 yards, 2 TDs, 2 INTs. He did throw a couple ill-advised passes but as long as he has Roddy White he’ll continue to produce solid results.

Old School Coach of the Week: Mike Singletary

49ers interim Head Coach Mike Singletary did something on Sunday I’ve never seen before. He threw his own player, whiny tight end Vernon Davis, out of the game. Then he spewed a classic tirade afterwards. If you haven’t seen it yet, here it is:

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I’m spent. Friday is Halloween. Stay tuned for a terrifying Week 9 preview. Until then…

Week 8 Preview

“When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.”

–Max McGee

Talkin’ Trade: PrettyMouths and Talkers

The Boys from Arkansas continue to revamp their roster. Last week they dumped LT and his swollen toe. This week they ship Ronnie “Wildcat” Brown and Marques Colston to the division rival Talkers for Willie Parker and Willis McGahee. Trading within your division in the middle of a season? It should never happen, but this makes consecutive weeks so I guess that cardinal rule no longer applies. Who won out in this deal? McGahee’s next three opponents are the Raiders, Browns and Texans. Brown has the Broncos, Seahawks, Raiders, Patriots, Rams, 49ers and Chiefs upcoming. Toss in Colston, who is primed to explode, advantage Talkers.

Game of the Week: Savage Animal (6-1) vs Arkansas PrettyMouths (4-3)

Better duck because there will be some serious mudslinging in this Week 8 fracas. It’s the second meeting of the season for these two bitter rivals. Savage edged Arkansas 58 -55 way back in Week 1. Safe to assume  the PrettyMouths are lookin’ for payback. It’s been a topsy-turvy ’08 for the backwoods hayseeds from The Natural State. After an 0-2 start they ran off 4 straight wins, traded LT, fell last week to the first place Talkers, then turned around and made a deal for Parker and McGahee. Animal has won 5 in a row getting unexpected production from the likes of J.T. O’Sullivan, DeAngelo Williams and LenDale White. The pass catchers take center stage in this one. Arkansas rolls out newly acquired Andre Johnson to go along with Larry Fitzgerald. Savage counters with Calvin Johnson and DeSean Jackson but will be without man-child Marshall. Backfields will decide it. McGahee draws a soft Raiders D. Portis and White look to feast on the Lions and Colts respectively. It’ll be close, but Savage escapes with another win.

Runner-up Game of the Week: Travelin’ Fools (3-3-1) vs Syracuse ManahManah (4-3)

Two of the NFL’s hot-and-cold superstars square off in this clash of Carolina Division contenders. The Fools are hanging tough due in large part to small Maurice Jones-Drew. Lil’ Mo should be ready to run wild on the Browns after a bye week. The Manah have been led all season by DMac5 and his bulging right arm. Fully rested, McNabb faces the 23rd ranked Falcons pass defense. The Fools will miss bad-haired QB Jay Cutler and Marion Barber must find an answer to the stingy Bucs D. ‘Cuse have no Bernard Berrian but both Gore and Slaton have dream matchups. Steve Smith explodes but it won’t be enough for the wanderers. Manah triumphs.

Other Matchups:

Grizzlies (2-5) vs Steelcats (2-5): Two hard luck teams go head-to-head. Griz have been plagued by inconsistent QB and WR play. Cats have been derailed by numerous injuries. B-West is back; Boldin might be. Speedy rook Chris Johnson carves the Colts. Griz win.

Lame Excuses (4-3) vs Walker’s Talkers (6-1): New arrivals Brown and Colston join an already deep and talented Talkers squad. Excuses are beat up. No LJ, no Felix Jones. Sammy Morris might not go. Can’t be limping when facing Walker’s garrulous gang. Thomas Jones eviscerates the decrepit Chiefs. Talkers cruise.

Frank (3-4) vs The Negotiators (3-4): The Negotiators are proof positive that the stud RB theory doesn’t always work. AP and Burner Turner are 5th and 7th in RB points, but the rest of the team has underachieved. For Frank, Rivers and the Bears D/ST are crushin’ it. Too bad the Bears are on a bye. No AP for the Deal-makers means Frank moves to .500.

Reedy River Cards (0-6-1) vs Furry Beasts (4-3): Reggie Bush is out. Forte is off. This will be ugly. Cards are used to ugly. No Jennings or Addai for the Beasts, but it won’t matter. Furry ones roll.

Fantasy Soapbox: Youth has been served

For the last decade T.O., Randy Moss, Marvin Harrison, Chad Johnson and Torry Holt have been the dominant receivers in Fantasy Football. Explosive and consistent these guys helped many an owner win many a Fantasy Championship. Those days are over. The vets have given way to the future superstar pass catchers who are the envy of every fantasy owner who didn’t draft them in 2008. Here’s what the new breed has done thus far:

1) Greg Jennings – Packers: Mr. Jennings and Aaron Rodgers are getting along swimmingly in the Land O’ Cheese. 37 catches, 685 yards, 4 TDs. Similar to Torry Holt in that he catches everything and possesses deep speed. Will likely lead the league in yards receiving.

2) Andre Johnson – Texans: This dude is a freakin’ beast. Health is his only issue, but when he’s not nicked he’s virtually unstoppable. 45 catches, 629 yards, 2 TDs. Needs to score more touchdowns; career best is 8. However, if QB Matt Schaub continues to mature Johnson could produce monster numbers.

3) Brandon Marshall – Broncos: In just his 3rd season Marshall has become one of the NFL’s most feared playmakers. Following a breakout 102 catch 2007 campaign, Brandon has picked up where he left off with 49 grabs for 598 yards and 3 TDs. Might lead the league in receptions.

4) Larry Fitzgerald – Cardinals: A physically imposing receiver, Fitzgerald has amassed over 5000 yards and scored 39 touchdowns in just 4+ seasons. Not bad considering he has to share the field with Anquan Boldin. In ’08 Larry has 36 catches for 546 yards and 5 TDs. Has the talent to become the best at his position.

5) Roddy White – Falcons: Roddy’s NFL career got off to a rocky start. Handcuffed by animal lover Michael Vick in 2005 and 2006, White managed 59 catches, 952 yards, 3 TDs. With Vick vacationing in Leavenworth Roddy is quickly becoming a top-flight wideout. This season he’s accumulated 35 catches for 566 yards and 3 TDs. Damn impressive considering his QB is a rookie.

None of the old-guard receivers has yet to break the 400 yard mark or catch more than 30 passes. It’s been a long, successful run but it appears to be reaching an end in 2008.

I’m out. Back Tuesday to wrap the Week 8 games. Until then…